So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
