i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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