Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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