Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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