BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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