I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize