At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
