I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
if only i could text you this smell
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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