just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
