What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
