No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
