you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
