He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
where does the pee come out of this thing
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
