Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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