thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
