it was like his penis was on wheels.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
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I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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