I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
