dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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