She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
