saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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