why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
