ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
