She's JV to your varsity
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
