she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
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There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize