Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
