"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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