end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize