you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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