and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
