***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
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