He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
