I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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