It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
