At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
