he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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