so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
