Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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