It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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