but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
