I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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