So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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