i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
