Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
