So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
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I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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