Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
