my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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