Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
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