I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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