i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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