do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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