hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Please, let me fuck your mom
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
