Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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