I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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