so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
