My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
