I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...