hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids