I think my fart just growled at me.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.