I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
