Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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