if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
All I want is dick and wine.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
