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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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