you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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