I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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